tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82468669648835049502024-03-12T20:51:19.855-07:00Being UbuliciousIt isn't easy being UbuUbu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.comBlogger489125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-20328395978971130992016-02-04T17:28:00.001-08:002016-02-04T17:28:53.299-08:00Thursday <p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6wd33s9wkRY/VrP612QJ5tI/AAAAAAAAKhA/l5tOQlpRCBs/s1600/IMG_0463-733300.JPG"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6wd33s9wkRY/VrP612QJ5tI/AAAAAAAAKhA/l5tOQlpRCBs/s320/IMG_0463-733300.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6247612911096293074" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-48165162139637238052016-02-01T18:19:00.001-08:002016-02-01T18:19:40.577-08:00Monday<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MaNM8oDR6A8/VrASPmT2MMI/AAAAAAAAKgo/MMt_yFK4dPA/s1600/IMG_0452-780577.JPG"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MaNM8oDR6A8/VrASPmT2MMI/AAAAAAAAKgo/MMt_yFK4dPA/s320/IMG_0452-780577.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6246512742354006210" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-49344616774064160802015-12-08T16:32:00.001-08:002015-12-08T16:32:26.654-08:00Tuesday<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZSrDS2fXk6U/Vmd2nJDXOLI/AAAAAAAAKeI/TDthlPF-oJo/s1600/IMG_0232-746655.JPG"><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZSrDS2fXk6U/Vmd2nJDXOLI/AAAAAAAAKeI/TDthlPF-oJo/s320/IMG_0232-746655.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6226075424679999666" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-9022744529700023742015-12-05T08:16:00.001-08:002015-12-05T08:16:30.804-08:00Big waves at the pier<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='400' height='326' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dybsycAKuivDi__kMy2QRpnm_4fJYMk2x7yUwE90GLjzht-cMx5AbrAf01Wkr7nprJMX2wmojf9qVWERBpYcw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-43052508788848374492015-10-19T18:06:00.001-07:002015-10-19T18:06:05.283-07:00Monday <p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jihOvHJbokU/ViWTf2fuwoI/AAAAAAAAIqk/OAz_qDox4Ko/s1600/IMG_8957-765284.JPG"><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jihOvHJbokU/ViWTf2fuwoI/AAAAAAAAIqk/OAz_qDox4Ko/s320/IMG_8957-765284.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6207529836813927042" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-36313703136807974012015-10-01T18:36:00.000-07:002015-10-01T18:37:02.900-07:00Thursday <p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8gkQkKrq024/Vg3fvyV6ikI/AAAAAAAAIpw/6KJgTbDebqY/s1600/IMG_8802-722901.JPG"><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8gkQkKrq024/Vg3fvyV6ikI/AAAAAAAAIpw/6KJgTbDebqY/s320/IMG_8802-722901.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6200858274019576386" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-65001538099795247892015-09-11T17:09:00.001-07:002015-09-11T17:09:53.362-07:00Friiiiidayy!<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ulotjk4IGbA/VfNtUiUHsPI/AAAAAAAAIpQ/jAhh7S6hxVs/s1600/IMG_8725-793363.JPG"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ulotjk4IGbA/VfNtUiUHsPI/AAAAAAAAIpQ/jAhh7S6hxVs/s320/IMG_8725-793363.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6193414112140570866" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-91069371147116787042015-09-10T19:35:00.000-07:002015-09-10T19:39:08.913-07:00Crazy hot weather gives pretty sunsets<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4XWxBXphx9U/VfI-ztPggDI/AAAAAAAAIo8/-vYlRTtZWHM/s1600/IMG_8714-748914.JPG"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4XWxBXphx9U/VfI-ztPggDI/AAAAAAAAIo8/-vYlRTtZWHM/s320/IMG_8714-748914.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6193081495626743858" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-38429244779242688432015-09-04T08:23:00.001-07:002015-09-04T08:23:17.783-07:00Friday morning<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NQWiSCEr4eY/Vem3Zoz3w2I/AAAAAAAAIog/ynwFCJ1rB58/s1600/IMG_8658-797783.JPG"><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NQWiSCEr4eY/Vem3Zoz3w2I/AAAAAAAAIog/ynwFCJ1rB58/s320/IMG_8658-797783.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6190680813877052258" /></a></p>It looks ominous but will be sunny in a bitUbu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-16513584413412092412015-08-31T11:15:00.001-07:002015-08-31T11:15:18.035-07:00Monday<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-83Uwn7P075M/VeSZtnMGTtI/AAAAAAAAIoE/jh9zYrJuIDQ/s1600/IMG_8638-718036.JPG"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-83Uwn7P075M/VeSZtnMGTtI/AAAAAAAAIoE/jh9zYrJuIDQ/s320/IMG_8638-718036.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6189240796806794962" /></a></p>Sometimes unemployment doesn't suck.Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-89160917306145598312015-08-28T12:04:00.000-07:002015-08-31T15:11:39.418-07:00Trader Joe's Yes Please ListTrader Joe's feeds me almost exclusively these days. Here's my YES list:<br />
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1. Mini chocolate chip brownie cups! Add a table spoon of water and put in over for 45 seconds. Remarkably delicious considering the ease of preparation.<br />
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2. Gluten free pancakes. I love these skinny toaster pancakes. My friend Brenda, did not like them. I was shocked!<br />
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3. Pub cheese. I like the horseradish pub cheese. Addicting. Can't be good for you good.<br />
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4. Frozen margarita pizza. Delish for frozen pizza<br />
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5. Pesto tortellini bowl. Great to take to work for lunch.<br />
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6. Three layer humus. Sometimes hard to find at TJ's.<br />
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7. Reduced guilt pita chips with sea salt. Mmnnn<br />
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8. Peanut butter filled pretzels and even more decadent, chocolate covered peanut butter filled pretzels. I love the chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels but they are dangerous! And also, melty.<br />
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9. Chocolate covered potato chips. The perfect combo of sweet and salty. A must have for that time of the month.<br />
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10. Goat milk brie. It's a stronger flavor than regular brie and great on their water crackers<br />
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11. Chicken tikki masala. Another favorite of mine for lunch. Add in their naan and you have a big meal.Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-78935679073252270762015-08-27T10:54:00.001-07:002015-08-27T10:54:37.579-07:003 Apps I use on the regular1. <b>White Noise</b>. Only it's not just white noise, it's all sorts of soothing sounds plus white noise. I think I got it originally for free from Starbucks but it's well worth a few dollars. I use it everyday, twice a day. I sleep to "Stream Water Flowing" every night and meditate to "Tibetan Singing Bowl." There's a huge catalog of sounds and they offer new ones periodically to download for free. It has a timer or you can set it to stop at a certain time. I would sometimes use at work too to drown out co-workers chatting. One of the white noises that particularly works for me is "Airplane travel."<br />
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2. <b>Breathe</b>. Also known as Stop, Breathe, & Think. I tried out several meditation apps and this is by far my favorite. The free meditations/visualizations are less than 10 minutes long and very calming. Has the added bonus of helping you track your mood. There are a couple in-app purchases if you would like longer forms of the meditations but they are not necessary to fully enjoy the app.<br />
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3. <b>Evernote</b>. I'm still learning how to get the most out of Evernote but what I am mostly using it for right now is making lists, and taking photos of my notes and having them stored all in one place. It can read my hand written notes and makes them searchable. So, for example, I had handwritten notes I had taken at a resume writing class. I took a photo of those notes in Evernote and then was able search Evernote on my phone for the word "resume" it it pulled up the photo of my notes when I didn't have my notebook with me. My understanding is that if you take the time to learn how to use Evernote you can use it to organize your entire life.<br />
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Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-85697046158499944862015-08-19T22:27:00.001-07:002015-08-30T22:08:20.411-07:00everything is gonna be okay<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">E</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">ven though you may not be getting what you want, when you want or how you want it, trust that you are getting what you need, when you need it and how you need to get it. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">This theme of trust came up in my class tonight.</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">For example, you don't get the job you wanted and are very disappointed. Later you realize that by not being offered the job, you were able to care for a family member in need. You were where you needed to be when you needed to be there as a result. After fulfilling your role as support for someone in need, your dream job falls in your lap.</span></div><div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div>When you don't trust <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">that everything is as it should be, you end up holding tightly to what you think you want, and focus on what you don't have. This causes needless suffering. It also makes you get in your own way. </span></div><div><br></div><div>In trusting that everything is as it should be, you remove yourself as the obstacle.</div><div>I struggle with this. I am the obstacle. I make things hard for me. I make them hard for me because I resist what it is and focus my energies on what i think I want and what I don't have.</div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I worry about my future. My worry is based on my fears, which are based on my limiting beliefs, which are based on evidence I've collected over my life proving I am unsafe, I am unworthy, I am not good enough, I am not smart enough and I can't do it. I feel anxious, paralyzed, stagnate.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">But what if I decide to channel my energy into the trust that I am going to be okay and everything is as it should be and I am exactly where I need to be instead of worry? </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Well. Then I feel less anxious, less paralyzed with indecision. I will get out of my own way. I will suffer less. I will not make fear based decisions. I'll be open and available for good things to come to me in my future.</div></div><div><br></div><div>The second theme that emerged from sharing in my class is that we all carry baggage that does not serve our greater good. This baggage can be from our childhood, our parents, past relationships, traumas and so on. <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Learning to release that which doesn't serve you is hard. It takes a lot of unlearning and letting go of limiting beliefs and then replacing and re-learning more expansive and positive beliefs</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div>So we have a choice. We can hold on tightly to what is weighing us down and anchoring us to a place we no longer wish to be. Or we can let go of the baggage in order to move forward, grow, break unhealthy patterns, or just be okay with ourselves.</div><div><br></div><div>Letting go of that which no longer serves you requires much trust. Trust in ourselves and trust that everything will be okay if we let it. And it will be.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-38947219401037878982015-08-14T19:28:00.001-07:002015-08-14T19:28:38.153-07:00Friday<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d88853gIXJc/Vc6j1tgiBuI/AAAAAAAAImo/9DbpJjTmxvw/s1600/IMG_8543-718154.JPG"><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d88853gIXJc/Vc6j1tgiBuI/AAAAAAAAImo/9DbpJjTmxvw/s320/IMG_8543-718154.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6183059481570707170" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-73379681565508538242015-08-13T09:06:00.001-07:002015-08-13T09:06:42.529-07:00Thursday morning<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Y-jbqkAQBJ4/VczAkzazw8I/AAAAAAAAImY/1j5X2eM6DuA/s1600/IMG_8526-702530.JPG"><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Y-jbqkAQBJ4/VczAkzazw8I/AAAAAAAAImY/1j5X2eM6DuA/s320/IMG_8526-702530.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6182528126983324610" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-20244030472308837802015-07-27T19:40:00.001-07:002015-07-27T19:40:11.349-07:00Monday night sunset<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7yTgkFi0pn8/VbbrjL5xnGI/AAAAAAAAIY8/8UK0-mi8xmo/s1600/IMG_8479-711349.JPG"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7yTgkFi0pn8/VbbrjL5xnGI/AAAAAAAAIY8/8UK0-mi8xmo/s320/IMG_8479-711349.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6176382928708279394" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-86443659760929355442015-06-25T13:34:00.003-07:002015-06-29T20:20:32.353-07:00Zen and the art of the backstrokeI recently took up swimming after some injuries prevented me from running regularly. Swimming is a form of exercise (I think) most people have a hard time talking themselves into. At least, I did.<br />
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There's the whole having a to wear a swimsuit in public issue, getting your hair wet, shaving your legs, sunblock, and a whole host of problems for women associated with showing most of your skin while looking like a drowned rat. Basically, there's a lot more involved going to the pool than going to a regular gym (sweats, shoes, hat, if you haven't washed your hair in a while, and you are good to go). <br />
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I was nervous and reluctant to try swimming for all the reasons listed above so I signed up for swimming lessons. It did the trick and I've begun going to the pool regularly to swim laps. I feel good afterwards and I sleep SO hard after a swim session.<br />
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It's still not my favorite form of exercise. Swimming laps is hard to get jazzed about. The freestyle (or crawl) stroke is really difficult for me. Just one lap of 25 meters had me out of breath. But I've been sticking to it. And, I'm learning to focus on the little positives about swimming.<br />
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One of the little positives for me is the backstroke as a breather or cooldown. I remember loving the backstroke as a kid. There's something so relaxing about it. For one thing, there's no panicking about breathing. Your nose and mouth are free to breath whenever you like, so that helps. But my favorite thing about it is staring up at the sky and watching the clouds go by. I love it.<br />
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There's something so unhurried and elegant about the backstroke. I kinda feel like Esther Williams in a technicolor musical while backstroking.<br />
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It's hard to worry about what's going on in your life when you are focused on not ramming your head into the end of the pool while channeling Esther Williams.<br />
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If only I could figure out how to do a damn flip turn I think I would do the backstroke for tens of minutes (that's a lot), I enjoy it so much.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xYW64moSLKg/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xYW64moSLKg?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-84393848134252173562015-06-23T19:42:00.001-07:002015-06-25T13:21:13.431-07:00My favorite sea creature: the bat ray <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5gEndbcWxGo/VYoZEOytwHI/AAAAAAAAIYA/4qUu4yti3lg/s1600/IMG_8286-743382.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6163766600490926194" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5gEndbcWxGo/VYoZEOytwHI/AAAAAAAAIYA/4qUu4yti3lg/s320/IMG_8286-743382.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My favorite sea critter is the bat ray. When I was in high school I volunteered at a nature interpretive center in Chula Vista. I spent most of my time at the petting pool where there were rays (barbs trimmed) and leopard sharks. The bat rays were always my favorite to watch. They are so serene, elegant and graceful as they glide through the water. And SO soft to the touch. I love seeing them in their natural environment (and my neighborhood). It makes me happy.</td></tr>
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Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-11482133635877439832015-06-22T20:10:00.001-07:002015-06-22T20:10:02.477-07:00Power in NumbersI have never liked working in groups. My social anxiety, shyness, needing to please and be invisible at the same time made group projects way too stressful for me. So while group therapy had been suggested to me a couple times in the past (thanks HMO healthcare) I was like hell-to-the-no.<br />
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Fast forward many years and I have found myself somewhat unwittingly engaging in support group-esque classes. And low and behold- it's kinda helpful. Okay, really helpful.<br />
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My first experience with this was with my meditation class. I ended up spending three months with the same group learning about mindfulness meditation. We really got to know each other and opened up a lot about our struggles.</div>
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I also signed up for a personal empowerment class only knowing that it was a weekly class that incorporated meditation, healing and intuitive psychics. What I ended up experiencing was, well, group therapy. For real though. Mostly women and one guy from all walks of life and ages...and we all had problems. All sorts of different problems. And all sorts of emotional scars to work through.</div>
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And everyone is making progress slogging through those emotional scars and problems. It's pretty cool.<br />
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The group dynamic works- if you are open to it. I can't really put my finger on what it is about being in a group setting that has catapulted my recovery. Maybe it's just the support or being around like minded people. Maybe there's some sort of synergistic effect of the learning process as we wrestle with the gremlins in our heads. I do learn from the other's sharing on their progress, ah ha moments, sticky wickets, highs and lows, etc.<br />
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I leave these classes feeling better than when I entered. I can't explain why. I just do.</div>
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Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-69042989531559546232015-05-21T18:13:00.001-07:002015-05-21T18:13:41.978-07:00<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ipCBF6qjAFw/VV6Cxyr7jNI/AAAAAAAAIUE/yc6EnQe1ckg/s1600/IMG_8071-721978.JPG"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ipCBF6qjAFw/VV6Cxyr7jNI/AAAAAAAAIUE/yc6EnQe1ckg/s320/IMG_8071-721978.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6151497932965907666" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-20827437626562818072015-05-21T18:12:00.000-07:002015-05-21T18:13:01.693-07:00Sail bay no filter <p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-B3-8LPxKcbA/VV6CnsBpaYI/AAAAAAAAIT4/JK6PeoZnD2c/s1600/IMG_8069-781694.JPG"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-B3-8LPxKcbA/VV6CnsBpaYI/AAAAAAAAIT4/JK6PeoZnD2c/s320/IMG_8069-781694.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6151497759379253634" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-12685554990587108232015-05-18T18:08:00.001-07:002015-05-18T18:08:25.422-07:00Sail Bay Monday <p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yIAxFTtOE4g/VVqNCgYaOpI/AAAAAAAAITc/OpeP9YoSkus/s1600/IMG_8053-705423.JPG"><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yIAxFTtOE4g/VVqNCgYaOpI/AAAAAAAAITc/OpeP9YoSkus/s320/IMG_8053-705423.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6150383315319405202" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-30225698264551653272015-05-12T11:08:00.001-07:002015-05-12T11:10:26.017-07:00How to help a loved one with depression<div class="s4" style="margin: 0px;">
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<span class="s3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); direction: rtl;">I usually didn't confide to my mother that I had been going through a bout of depression until I felt that it was lifting. My mother would say to me "why didn't you tell me? I want to help" or "let me know when you are having a hard time." One day when we were having this conversation I told her that not asking for help is a symptom of the depression.</span></div>
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<span class="s3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); direction: rtl;">I'm simply not willing or able to ask for help when I need it. There are probably clinical reasons for this that I don't feel competent to attempt to explain. But for me, not being able to ask for help is a sign that I'm in trouble.</span></div>
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<span class="s3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); direction: rtl;">So what can you do for a friend or loved one going through a bout of depression?</span></div>
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<li><b>Make the important phone calls</b> that your loved one doesn't have the energy to make. These would making therapy appointments and calling the health insurance company to see where they can seek help. This was one the biggest hurdles for me. To get help, I needed to call my health insurance to see what was covered. It was beyond daunting, confusing and aggravating. If I recall correctly it took me 4-6 phone calls to set up an appointment with a therapist covered by my insurance. And it took me months because after 20 to 30 minutes on the phone I didn't have the energy to make the next call necessary. If your loved one admits that they are suicidal, dial the suicide prevention hotline for them and stay with them on the call. Don't just hand them the number and trust they will call it later.</li>
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<li><b>Don't just offer open ended or vague help.</b> I know most people are afraid of being pushy but be specific in your offer of support. For example, the offer of "let me know if you ever need to talk" is well intentioned but your loved one will probably not take you up on it. Something that might be more helpful would be to set up a recurring activity that they might enjoy. Things like going for a bike ride every other Saturday or a weekly movie night or going to a comic book store once a month or church on Sundays. Make a standing date that gives you both something to look forward to.</li>
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<li><b>Come over and just watch tv</b>. Usually people in the throes of depression are fatigued and don't have a lot of energy to burn. So low energy activities like a netflix night might get a more enthusiastic response.</li>
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<li><b>Don't take unreturned phone calls personally</b>. Keep trying and don't let your loved one feel bad about not calling you back</li>
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<li><b>Remind them of the things that make life worth living for them</b></li>
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<li>Tell them emphatically that <b>another good day is coming</b> and it will be worth it</li>
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<li><b>Use logical reasoning with your loved one</b>. When I was most severely depressed, my feelings were lying to me but the rational side of my brain was still functioning. I understood that while life seemed endlessly hopeless, it was still preciously short. That logic could be used on me to, say, go to a concert of a band I liked by reasoning that they may not tour in our town again for a long time, or ever if they break up!</li>
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<span class="s3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); direction: rtl;">If you have any other tips and suggestions on how to support a friend or loved one with depression, please leave it in the comments section.</span></div>
Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-32487896922311338442015-05-04T18:56:00.001-07:002015-05-04T18:56:49.465-07:00Monday evening walk<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WwHWTZwJ0e0/VUgjYhthz4I/AAAAAAAAITA/eTxgDI1CIMg/s1600/IMG_8008-709466.JPG"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WwHWTZwJ0e0/VUgjYhthz4I/AAAAAAAAITA/eTxgDI1CIMg/s320/IMG_8008-709466.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6145200595820203906" /></a></p>Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8246866964883504950.post-65330875919977434092015-04-28T12:04:00.000-07:002015-06-25T22:52:36.261-07:00Transition to my Eat, Pray, LoveI work for a grant program that had its funding cut. We've known about the money running out for nearly three years now. My boss has spent this time pretending that more funding was coming any day now, but it hasn't. When he finally attempted to address the elephant in the room about myself and my co-worker who's funding source has not been renewed, it was done so shady and so much to cover his ass that I thought to myself "<i>I am sooo done here.</i>" Truth be told, I've been unhappy at this job for many years. I've been too scared and too comfortable to leave though. I'm scared I won't find another job that I am comfortable at. I know I won't find a job that pays as well for as little as I work with the flexibility I have and co-workers I like. It just doesn't happen for most people, ya know?<br />
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But, I'm done. Even though my boss says I could stay if I wanted, I feel stuck in this job and am unhappy. I'm gonna squeeze out as much as possible out of my benefits and vacation hours until the remaining money is exhausted, but I can't wait to get out of here.<br />
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I'm going to spend the next 3 months defining what my "Eat, pray, love" is gonna look like and then spend the next 3-6 months doing it. I'm in the "figuring it out" phase now to see what's going to work for me. And also getting support from the strangest of people and places. I randomly went to a party and ran into an acquaintance that I haven't seen in a long time. She was a lawyer working god awful hours the last time I saw her. But right now she is doing exactly what I want to do. She's taking a break a from work. She encouraged me and reassured me that this is what I need to do for myself and that I wouldn't regret it. At least she hasn't. Running into her felt like a sign.<br />
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It's a big decision to make though, you know. I've been thinking about this for months but I just have so much fear of the unknown. I actually had break down in mindfulness meditation class from the stress of the decision. Luckily my teacher is awesome and talked me off the ledge by the pretty quickly, albeit publicly in front of the class (there's only 5 of us). It was so helpful and so weird and so exactly what I needed at that moment.<br />
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Meditation is staying in the rotation for my mental health and it's a practice that needs some cultivation. So there's the "pray" component of eat, pray love- no ashrams for me though. And actually "eat" can be crossed out as I've never been a foodie. Love may get a shot at staying in the rotation, but it's not official yet.<br />
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So... <strike>Eat</strike>, Pray, <i>Love</i> (?) could turn into Meditate, Volunteer, Write, Feed Stray Animals. The main point of this post is to declare that I'm taking a sabbatical. It's official.<br />
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<br />Ubu!http://www.blogger.com/profile/12802060293535923285noreply@blogger.com0