I hope my christmas card doesn't make people feel sorry for me

Damn, what was I thinking? I should have gone with a generic holiday card, instead I went with a photo card... of my dog. In a santa hat. Well, I didn't want to put a photo of me on the card. And I think my dog is funny. And I think it's funny that she looks unhappy in a santa hat.

But I think my card may worry my loved ones that I abuse my dog....and that I am officially a spinster that needs to get a life.

Damn damn damn

Quick Rant- Long blind dates

How is it that I'm always getting roped into long first dates? Why is it that no one believes me when I say "let's meet for a quick cup of coffee"? Do they not believe me? Do they think perhaps I will be overwhelmed by their charm and wit and want to spend hours upon hours with them?

No. I said let's meet for A beverage. Singular. Not dinner. Not drinks. Not a long drawn out walk where I get progressively more annoyed at my time being stolen. A blind date should be short, in case one person finds the other unattractive, obnoxious or annoying in person.

After the initial meeting, if both parties want to see each other again, a proper dinner date should be planned. I'm not Ms. Manners but I'm pretty sure that's the proper protocol.

FYI-I hate getting roped into dinner, long walks and hanging out at your place on a blind date. I hate it!

Why do I even bother??

-end rant-

Um... there's a tree on top of your car.

I'm not sure why the sight of a car driving with a Christmas tree tied to the roof amuses me, but it does. It just looks so ridiculous...so incongruous. A tree, which should be standing upright in dirt, is cruising down the freeway at 65 mph on it's way to be used briefly indoors, possibly a foyer, adorned with pieces of plastic and glass and lights while dying a slow death in a pail of water. It's weird, right?

Why on earth do we do it? I'm not a tree hugger so that's not my problem...I just think it's a hilarious custom. It's, like, a lot of work! My dad hated it. Getting sap all over his hands, forcing the tree somewhat vertical into the stand and then wrapping all those damn lights.

And the holidays have enough going on as it is. Why don't we just save ourselves the hassle of purchasing, hauling, lighting, decorating, and cleaning up the mess the needles make and just decorate a tree or two in our yard? You know, sometimes at ski resorts the pine trees are decorated with bras discarded from the ski lift. That could be interesting in your front yard!

Also, I noticed that super big Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center is an OUTDOOR tree. Perhaps that's the way it should be? Not that I know anything about the history of the Christmas tree tradition. Maybe there's a really great reason for it. Maybe back in the day it totally made sense to do so (although I can't really imagine there being a practical purpose).

It seems to me that stockings hung over a fireplace are pretty and festive and handy. And could be a reminder that that's all kids used to get for Christmas, a sock filled with sweets. Reality check, in your face!
I'm just not sure why the tree is necessary.

I'm no grinch. I love Christmas. In fact, I think it would be awesome if instead of placing presents under a tree, families piled presents into a tree shaped pyramid, jenga style. That would be a fun consumerist way to celebrate the birth of Jesus! No tree needed.

I'll stop now...

My first pie

This was actually my practice pie. The one I brought to my mom's looked marginally better but then it got a little roughed up in transport.

No more cardboard box nightstand!

After searching for quite some time I finally found the unique nightstand that I've been hunting for. I picked up this tiny corner secretary at a cool antique shop called Vignettes in Ocean Beach (http://www.yelp.com/biz/vignettes-antiques-and-collectibles-san-diego).  

Unfortunately, it was done in an awful shabby pink. The terrible sanding job took away from the pretty details.

But, after many, many, many layers of spray paint, here is what it looks like now:

I added a pretty knob to the drop leaf drawer and I am quite pleased with it.

Look! No more cardboard box!

Bedroom Blues, Part II - Dreamy Bedroom Inspiration

Okay, I'm almost ready to get serious about doing something about the cardboard box night stand situation in my bedroom.  I've been collecting photos of bedrooms trying to get a few ideas for mine.

A chair in lieu of a bedside table seems to be popular

Pretty

I know that this is a little girl's room (probably has a hipster mom) but I like it anyway. I kinda want a similar hutch or bookshelf in lieu of a nightstand.

Photo via Decorpad

Gahh! I love this bedroom. I want to live here. 

Photo via Design*Sponge, Ore Studio

I saved this photo because it gave me an idea. I want a shelf or cabinet to place my laundry hamper under so it's not such wasted space and to sort of hide it. I'll also use it as a nightstand.

Photo via Design*Sponge, Susan and William Brinson

Vintage suitcases at the foot of the bed also seems to be popular. Don't think it's my style though.

Photo via Domino

Like the mix and match of patterns. Don't care for the stack of books on the floor as the nightstand.

Photo via House of Turquoise

Loving this attic bedroom! Love the girly wall sconces and the fact that bedside tables do not match! Totally cool.

Again, bedside tables do not match, but it is still very very symmetrical which I like

Photo via La Maison Boheme

Ooooh how pretty.

I'm a little sad that I'm pretty sure that I will never own a chandelier like this one.

Photo via House of Turquoise, Mabley Handler Interior Design

Not really my style but I love the symmetry and patterns.

Photo Mansucco Warner Miller

Hmm, wallpaper? It's pretty

Photo via House of Turquoise

Oooooooh, what I've always wanted. A nook for just my bed. You can shut everything else out and hide =)

So fresh and so clean! Me likey.

Stella Tennant, photo by Francois Halard

Love the silkscreen behind the bed. Hate the bedspread.

Also, notice the bedside tables do not match.

Hmm, pretty cool. N'est pas?

Photo via Martha Stewart

What a cool idea for a nightstand!

Photo via House of Turquoise

I like everything about this except the hanging globe chair.

Photo by Ditte Isager, Bloomingdales catalog

Oooooh dreamy! A hanging bedroom.

It reminds me of the Ewok village or Avatar

Photo via La Maison Boheme

This is sort of what my bed looks like now with the mosquito netting but without the cool exposed wooden beams.

Should I try to make a headboard like this one??

Photo-The Cross Design and Decor

Damn I want this bed! It's only $3,495 CANADIAN dollars. FML.

Saturday in November

Sunset over Sail Bay

Hummingbird

I love hummingbirds at my feeder!

New music

Sun of  Gun- Oh Land.


I like!

Feel good Friday

Thursday sunset

I'm full of good ideas

Oh yes, I am. I will prove it. Here's my list of things to do in San Diego and it totally kicks Sign On San Diego's generic ass.

1. Roller skating (Skateworld may close soon, people. Gotta go now). http://www.sandiegoskateworld.com/. Roll Bounce.

2. Drive in Movie. $8 per person for a double feature at the South Bay Drive in. Plus you can bring in all the food and drinks and candy ya want. I'm all about bringing a pizza or subs. And a box of wine. http://www.southbaydrivein.com/

3. Drinks on the deck of the hotel del Coronado. They are expensive and they are worth it. You are paying for the privilege of sitting on their deck.

4. Chula Vista Nature Center. $11 to pet sting rays, watch bald eagle eat a mouse, and look at a lot of  cool native species in the bay and marsh up close. http://www.chulavistanaturecenter.org/. Then go to the nearby Galley for lunch. Get the panko calamari strips. http://www.galleyatthemarina.signonsandiego.com/

5.San Diego Limo Ghost Tour. The name says it all. It's a limo, it's a ghost tour. And, oh yeah, all the booze you can drink is included. A great thing to do with guests in town and you really don't need to be into ghosts. Read my review here: http://www.yelp.com/biz/san-diego-limo-ghost-tour-san-diego#hrid:AFIwS80SYwaYWsjHTlmKxw

6. Tidepools at Cabrillo National Monument. Check the tide schedule and go at low tide. It's $5 to enter the park, I believe. You can also visit the lighthouse while you are there. Don't wear slick shoes or flip flops. Pick up a fan-freakin'-tastic sandwich at the Con Panne Bakery at the corner of Rosecrans and Canon before you head up the hill to the park.

You're Welcome!

October 23

Rain's gone

First Date Two Drink Maximum Rule

When I write my book, "The Idiots Guide To What Not To Do While Dating," I'm going to emphasize the first date Two Drink Maximum Rule (TDMR).  Never, ever have more than two drinks on a first date. Especially blind dates.

What happens when you exceed the TDMR?? 99 times out of 100 REGRET. That's what.

How do I know this?? Experience, duh. Two drinks will loosen you up plenty, but you gotta be careful not to go over the precipice. Violating the TDMR leads you to making out on his couch in front of his creepy roommate. It leads to remembering he was cute. Exceeding the TDMR makes you forget how he commented on the waitress' ass and that he swears like a sailor- an un-imaginative sailor with a limited vocabulary.

Worst of all, it leads to wasting your time on a second date with a dude you don't like. at. all.

Second date? Why Not? I had such a great time on our first date

Heed my advice ladies: you want to stay sober on the first date. I know... it's not intuitive. In the moment, of course you wanted to get tipsy to make it fun, or at least, bearable.

Just remember that in order to avoid REGRET (capitol letters), the TDMR is not just a guideline but the law.

October 11

Sunday

Bonerkiller: "God Bless"

I am stealing the term "bonerkiller" from from the awesome blog Shmitten Kitten (http://www.shmittenkitten.com/). Bonerkillers are petty observations or facts about a potential mate that instantly turn you off. You know it's immature but you just can't get over it.

Here's mine: I was leaving a voicemail for a potential suitor when his pre-recorded message "Hi, this Randy. I can't get to my phone right now, please leave a message" ended with "GOD BLESS".

Bonerkiller, dude. Unless you are a member of the clergy, I do not want your blessings from god. For one, I do not believe that you are qualified to relay messages from god. I mean, who do you think you are?? Presumptious much?? Secondly, I do not want to date someone with one of those Jesus fish on their car. That's embarassing, man.

~Fin

Friday

Easiest green beans ever and Mikey likes it!

Last night I made green beans and liked them! This is two parts amazing, one I made something to eat and two, I liked it. I got the "recipe" here:

http://reluctantentertainer.com/2010/08/zesty-pesto-green-beans-easy-appetizer-or-snack/

All I did was pick up some frozen green beans and a jar of pesto from Trader Joe's. I microwaved the green beans, added sea salt and a couple spoonfuls of pesto and viola! Tasty green beans that I actually like.

Back home!

Lake tahoe sunset

Heavenly

Songs I would download right now if I could

Here are some songs I would download right now if I had the MacBook I'm dreaming about and a functioning itunes account. My ipod is so sad and out of date right now =(



Mumford and Sons- Little Lion Man


The XX- Crystalised


Arcade Fire- Ready to Start


Metric- Gold Guns Girls


The National- Bloodbuzz Ohio


SleighBells- Crown on the Ground

My three moms

My mom is a widow but, luckily, she has two fabulous friends and neighbors. They watch their shows together while drinking bottles (plural) of wine, catch up on the church gossip, walk the golf course, taking weekend trips together and generally cracking each other up. They even text each other in the morning to make sure they woke up alive =)

I'm really glad my mom has that support system.

But as we were having dinner last week with two french guests and my brother's new girlfriend from Mexico City, it struck me how much time my mom and her BFF, MaryAnne, spend together. Maybe it was the wine (probably it was the wine) but it suddenly struck me so funny that I announced, at the dinner table, that people were probably thinking they were a lesbian couple. My mom immediately blurts out "Oh No! I'm getting a boyfriend!!." Then with a little more wine, it morphed into them being my two moms. Then it turned into my three moms whenever BFF numero tres, Maggie, is over as well.

Let's review the evidence: I'm using my two moms timeshare to go to a wedding next weekend. Last night I went to aqua-aerobics with my two moms. They go at least three times a week. They even have special water shoes for it. I made sure to say out loud "Hey moms, look what I can do!" at least three times during the aqua aerobics class.

I have moms, plural! Awesome. I'm just not sure how they feel about me being their new 32 year old daughter...

It's a bird, it's a plane...it's Chula Vista

Kimbra - Settle Down (Official Music Video HD)

I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about this song. I think Kimbra is cool New Zealand chic, for sure. I think I might identify with this song a little too strongly. And it scares me.

Family of raccoons

Family of raccoons I saw on my way home last night. The babies were cute!

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

Sunday Sunset

Marlin goes berserk, attacks press boat during Hawaii tournament

Another lesson to be learned in the fishing analogy.

Marlin don't want to be caught.

Marlin goes berserk, attacks press boat during Hawaii tournament

Marlin is going to be my new term for unavailable men. As in- "check out that hot marlin with commitment issues."

"I can't be tied down to one woman. I NEED to be FREEEE"

Maybe I should be fishing for a nice sized salmon??

"I don't drink, I don't swear, I'm socially inept"

This is no-shit exactly how the very first phone conversation with a dude I was supposed to meet on Sunday went. It only took, oh 5 minutes, to tell me about the last girl he hooked up with on plenty of fish. She, unbeknownst to him, was married with children. A fact she let slip right after they had sex and she informed him that he was better than her husband. Thanks, dude. Thanks a lot for that unnecessary info (ya moron).

It only about 12 minutes for him to bring up HIS DEAD GIRLFRIEND. The one he was planning on proposing to the day she was killed in a car acident. But don't worry, he's dealt with the crushing blow and has moved on. By the way, have I ever been through anything seriously traumatic like that? Um, maybe I have but I wouldn't be sharing it with you. It's called personal information and you are called a stranger. (Hello, did my profile say I was a grief counselor?? No, it didn't.)

It was a painful  (for me) hour of my life. He spent it talking about himself. He talked over me and almost immediately, I switched into my fake voice and wanted it to end. It's an hour of my life that I want back .

Other bizarre bits of information he chose to share with me... a complete stranger.... that he was hoping to date:

- "Sometimes he thinks girls are just looking for a free dinner and are willing to lie on their profile to get it." Thanks for divulging your complete lack of trust in women. [Newsflash-A free dinner at Mister A's wouldn't even come close to compensating for being subjected to your company, sorry]

- "People with cats have a smell." Yes, he really said that. After I told him I like cats and I like my friend's cats.
 
- "I like showing people my house. I have really good decorating skills for a guy. Some people think I'm gay because of it."
 
-"Are you really single?" He interrogated me about my dating motivations, if I've ever been married, been engaged or had any children. Thanks for confirming that you have not listened to a single damn word I've said. Too busy focusing on yourself, I guess. Dumbass.

- He doesn't drink at all because his mother is an alcoholic.

- He doesn't swear. Didn't give a reason but gave about 3 too many examples of what it would take to get him to say the F bomb.

In my head I've already nicknamed him Sandra Dee from Grease:



There will be no in person meeting, in case I needed to spell that one out.

July 22