Monday

Sometimes unemployment doesn't suck.

Trader Joe's Yes Please List

Trader Joe's feeds me almost exclusively these days. Here's my YES list:

1. Mini chocolate chip brownie cups! Add a table spoon of water and put in over for 45 seconds. Remarkably delicious considering the ease of preparation.

2. Gluten free pancakes. I love these skinny toaster pancakes. My friend Brenda, did not like them. I was shocked!

3. Pub cheese. I like the horseradish pub cheese. Addicting. Can't be good for you good.

4. Frozen margarita pizza. Delish for frozen pizza

5. Pesto tortellini bowl. Great to take to work for lunch.

6. Three layer humus. Sometimes hard to find at TJ's.

7. Reduced guilt pita chips with sea salt. Mmnnn

8. Peanut butter filled pretzels and even more decadent, chocolate covered peanut butter filled pretzels. I love the chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels but they are dangerous! And also, melty.

9. Chocolate covered potato chips. The perfect combo of sweet and salty. A must have for that time of the month.

10. Goat milk brie. It's a stronger flavor than regular brie and great on their water crackers

11. Chicken tikki masala. Another favorite of mine for lunch. Add in their naan and you have a big meal.

3 Apps I use on the regular

1. White Noise. Only it's not just white noise, it's all sorts of soothing sounds plus white noise. I think I got it originally for free from Starbucks but it's well worth a few dollars. I use it everyday, twice a day. I sleep to "Stream Water Flowing" every night and meditate to "Tibetan Singing Bowl." There's a huge catalog of sounds and they offer new ones periodically to download for free. It has a timer or you can set it to stop at a certain time. I would sometimes use at work too to drown out co-workers chatting. One of the white noises that particularly works for me is "Airplane travel."

2. Breathe. Also known as Stop, Breathe, & Think. I tried out several meditation apps and this is by far my favorite. The free meditations/visualizations are  less than 10 minutes long and very calming. Has the added bonus of helping you track your mood. There are a couple in-app purchases if you would like longer forms of the meditations but they are not necessary to fully enjoy the app.

3. Evernote. I'm still learning how to get the most out of Evernote but what I am mostly using it for right now is making lists, and taking photos of my notes and having them stored all in one place. It can read my hand written notes and makes them searchable. So, for example, I had handwritten notes I had taken at a resume writing class. I took a photo of those notes in Evernote and then was able search Evernote on my phone for the word "resume" it it pulled up the photo of my notes when I didn't have my notebook with me.  My understanding is that if you take the time to learn how to use Evernote you can use it to organize your entire life.

everything is gonna be okay

Even though you may not be getting what you want, when you want or how you want it, trust that you are getting what you need, when you need it and how you need to get it. This theme of trust came up in my class tonight. 

For example, you don't get the job you wanted and are very disappointed. Later you realize that by not being offered the job, you were able to care for a family member in need. You were where you needed to be when you needed to be there as a result. After fulfilling your role as support for someone in need, your dream job falls in your lap.

When you don't trust that everything is as it should be, you end up holding tightly to what you think you want, and focus on what you don't have. This causes needless suffering. It also makes you get in your own way. 

In trusting that everything is as it should be, you remove yourself as the obstacle.

I struggle with this. I am the obstacle. I make things hard for me. I make them hard for me because I resist what it is and focus my energies on what i think I want and what I don't have.

I worry about my future. My worry is based on my fears, which are based on my limiting beliefs, which are based on evidence I've collected over my life proving I am unsafe, I am unworthy, I am not good enough, I am not smart enough and I can't do it. I feel anxious, paralyzed, stagnate.

But what if I decide to channel my energy into the trust that I am going to be okay and everything is as it should be and I am exactly where I need to be instead of worry? 

Well. Then I feel less anxious, less paralyzed with indecision. I will get out of my own way. I will suffer less. I will not make fear based decisions. I'll be open and available for good things to come to me in my future.

The second theme that emerged from sharing in my class is that we all carry baggage that does not serve our greater good. This  baggage can be from our childhood, our parents, past relationships, traumas and so on. Learning to release that which doesn't serve you is hard. It takes a lot of unlearning and letting go of limiting beliefs and then replacing and re-learning more expansive and positive beliefs.

So we have a choice. We can hold on tightly to what is weighing us down and anchoring us to a place we no longer wish to be. Or we can let go of the baggage in order to move forward, grow, break unhealthy patterns, or just be okay with ourselves.

Letting go of that which no longer serves you requires much trust. Trust in ourselves and trust that everything will be okay if we let it. And it will be.

Friday

Thursday morning