Lessons learned: 2014 Edition

Here are some things I learned in 2014:

1.Don't refer to anyone as your fiancé until they actually ask you to marry them. Even if you've talked about it as a sure thing, and even if it's only to boost your rental application to the top. Talk about jinxing yourself. Lesson learned. I will never refer to anyone as my fiance until the ring is on my finger again.

2.I can do 10% better. In just about everything. 10% is not that much. It's only an incremental improvement and only requires slightly more energy invested. I found this to be the case in listening to my co-workers, exercising, communicating with my friends, controlling my emotions and fears, and pretty much all my inter-personal interactions.

3. It's easy to get caught up in the emotional highs and lows of a relationship, but your significant other is not your possession. They are an independent person that requires compassion and support. I always assumed that if I treated others they way I wanted to be treated all would be equanimous. Not so I learned. Everyone has different needs in a relationship. And men's needs in a relationship are different than women's in many instances. Learning to really listen to your significant other while removing your own judgement is a skill I hope to acquire someday.

4. If you know someone loves you, give them the benefit of the doubt. Check the knee-jerk reaction to a perceived insult or injury and just ask what the deal is without allowing emotions to escalate. Give the benefit of the doubt knowing there is love there.