Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Two Weird Conversations I had Last Night

1. Phone Call from Derrick.
About 5:15 pm. I'm leaving work when I get a call from a number I don't recognize. On a whim I pick it up thinking it may be a reminder for a dentist appointment.
Me: Hello
Caller: Hello.
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello.
Me: Who is this?
Caller: It's Derrick.
Me: *Confused*
Derrick: I wanted to call and apologize for my behavior.
Me: Um, okay. It's really fine.
Derrick: I wanted to apologize. I wasn't raised that way.
Me: *Confused* Oh, okay but it's really fine.I know I was kinda harsh but... (I don't apologize here because I am not sorry)
Derrick. Well I am sorry.
Me: Okay (about to tell him I was driving and had to get off the phone)
Derrick: Take care yourself
Me: You too!!! (elated I was getting off the phone with him)

So basically if I had asked him to leave me alone like I had wanted to, he would have called and asked why I wanted to him to leave me alone, and then later called to apologize. Same outcome.

2. Conversation with Homeless Person
About 10:30 last night I'm walking molly. Molly runs up to homeless man and licks his hands.
Homeless Man: She's licking me. You know why she's licking me?
Me: [Thinking to myself, because you stink and she likes stinky things] No why?
HM: Because she smells my dogs. I breed pitbulls and rottweilers
Me: Oh really? Molly is part pit
HM: I breed them to kill
Me: [Backing away] Oh
HM: [Laughing] Oh yeah she wants to jump all over me.
Me: Molly come!!
HM: I want a woman to jump all over me like that. YEAH!!
Me: [Turns on heels, walks in opposite direction thinking "good luck with that"]