Friday, July 23, 2010

"I don't drink, I don't swear, I'm socially inept"

This is no-shit exactly how the very first phone conversation with a dude I was supposed to meet on Sunday went. It only took, oh 5 minutes, to tell me about the last girl he hooked up with on plenty of fish. She, unbeknownst to him, was married with children. A fact she let slip right after they had sex and she informed him that he was better than her husband. Thanks, dude. Thanks a lot for that unnecessary info (ya moron).

It only about 12 minutes for him to bring up HIS DEAD GIRLFRIEND. The one he was planning on proposing to the day she was killed in a car acident. But don't worry, he's dealt with the crushing blow and has moved on. By the way, have I ever been through anything seriously traumatic like that? Um, maybe I have but I wouldn't be sharing it with you. It's called personal information and you are called a stranger. (Hello, did my profile say I was a grief counselor?? No, it didn't.)

It was a painful  (for me) hour of my life. He spent it talking about himself. He talked over me and almost immediately, I switched into my fake voice and wanted it to end. It's an hour of my life that I want back .

Other bizarre bits of information he chose to share with me... a complete stranger.... that he was hoping to date:

- "Sometimes he thinks girls are just looking for a free dinner and are willing to lie on their profile to get it." Thanks for divulging your complete lack of trust in women. [Newsflash-A free dinner at Mister A's wouldn't even come close to compensating for being subjected to your company, sorry]

- "People with cats have a smell." Yes, he really said that. After I told him I like cats and I like my friend's cats.
- "I like showing people my house. I have really good decorating skills for a guy. Some people think I'm gay because of it."
-"Are you really single?" He interrogated me about my dating motivations, if I've ever been married, been engaged or had any children. Thanks for confirming that you have not listened to a single damn word I've said. Too busy focusing on yourself, I guess. Dumbass.

- He doesn't drink at all because his mother is an alcoholic.

- He doesn't swear. Didn't give a reason but gave about 3 too many examples of what it would take to get him to say the F bomb.

In my head I've already nicknamed him Sandra Dee from Grease:

There will be no in person meeting, in case I needed to spell that one out.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

July 22

Plenty of Fish


There are plenty of fish in the sea. The problem is that most of them are, like, big mouth bass or sardines or mudsuckers or one-eyed halibut (which are creepy). I'm not a statistician but I'm fairly positive that there are relatively fewer of those tuna or marlin you were hoping to snag in the sea.

In addition to there being statistically fewer desirable fish, you might not have the right bait for the fish you want to attract. Hell, maybe tuna isn't even native to the sea you're casting your net in.

See, so while technically, there are plenty of fish in the sea, it's still a stupid saying.

More to come on this topic...

Hey Beautiful, what's your name?

Friday, July 16, 2010

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Duck Butts Are IN!

Finally! A beauty product I don't need!
The BootyPop. Or Duck Butt.

Not just butt padding, but strategically placed topside butt padding. Impressive.

I'm just so glad that big butts are in and seen as sexy and healthy on women.

Unlike Spanx and padded bras, which I do need, I'm pretty sure the Booty Pop I can live without.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Ethan Allen Decorating Style Quiz

Take the quiz here to find out your decorating style according to Ethan Allen:

My style is Estate. Estate = An eternal American summer. Sporty. Charming. Breezy yet cultivated. A union of antique inspiration and geometric clarity. Civilization in peaceful coexistence with robust outdoor life. In the main house or the guest cottage, effortless elegance.

If I had money to decorate I would defintely agree! Summery and cottage-y would be a good way of how I would like to decorate my place.

Image from