Thursday, December 9, 2010

Um... there's a tree on top of your car.

I'm not sure why the sight of a car driving with a Christmas tree tied to the roof amuses me, but it does. It just looks so incongruous. A tree, which should be standing upright in dirt, is cruising down the freeway at 65 mph on it's way to be used briefly indoors, possibly a foyer, adorned with pieces of plastic and glass and lights while dying a slow death in a pail of water. It's weird, right?

Why on earth do we do it? I'm not a tree hugger so that's not my problem...I just think it's a hilarious custom. It's, like, a lot of work! My dad hated it. Getting sap all over his hands, forcing the tree somewhat vertical into the stand and then wrapping all those damn lights.

And the holidays have enough going on as it is. Why don't we just save ourselves the hassle of purchasing, hauling, lighting, decorating, and cleaning up the mess the needles make and just decorate a tree or two in our yard? You know, sometimes at ski resorts the pine trees are decorated with bras discarded from the ski lift. That could be interesting in your front yard!

Also, I noticed that super big Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center is an OUTDOOR tree. Perhaps that's the way it should be? Not that I know anything about the history of the Christmas tree tradition. Maybe there's a really great reason for it. Maybe back in the day it totally made sense to do so (although I can't really imagine there being a practical purpose).

It seems to me that stockings hung over a fireplace are pretty and festive and handy. And could be a reminder that that's all kids used to get for Christmas, a sock filled with sweets. Reality check, in your face!
I'm just not sure why the tree is necessary.

I'm no grinch. I love Christmas. In fact, I think it would be awesome if instead of placing presents under a tree, families piled presents into a tree shaped pyramid, jenga style. That would be a fun consumerist way to celebrate the birth of Jesus! No tree needed.

I'll stop now...

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