Friday, February 12, 2010

My heart is heavy

Even puppies can't lift my heavy mood.

I broke his heart. Again. I had to say some terribly hard things like I don't love him now and I probably will never love him. I don't want to hurt him anymore. I wish I could take the pain away. I know what it feels like. I know what he wants more than anything is for me to come back and say it was all a big mistake. I'm trying to do the right thing...

I also found out last night my friend is going through a bout of clinical depression. Having gone through it myself, I know how horrible it is to go through. I really really feel for him. It's not a super quick road to recovery. It's hard.

Today is the five year anniversary of my dad's passing. It's not something I dwell on. I'm really okay. I just wonder how different my life would be if I hadn't had that horrible period of my life. I have to admit that I don't think things would be much different. It'd be cool to still have my dad here to talk to though.

My heart is sad.

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